NOTE: This is a Level 2 class (all instructional)

ONLY for those men who have already completed Level 1 (all Q & A).

If you have NOT attended Level 1 yet, then please register here.

After completing Level 1, you are more than welcome

to attend the MasterClass (see below).

Welcome Gentlemen,

My heart goes out to you guys, because I know you have been blamed by your NT spouse for being insensitive, selfish, uncaring, narcissistic, and even sociopathic. She has made a bunch of false assumptions. But, this may be due to the fact that she doesn’t fully understand autism spectrum disorder.

If you have ASD [level 1], you will have some degree of mind-blindness. Not your fault. And your NT wife may blame you for being stubborn and rigid and simply not caring about - or understanding - her perspectives.

If you have ASD, then you have some level of emotions-blindness. Not your fault. And your NT wife has probably blamed you for being selfish and simply not caring about - or understanding - how she feels.

If you have ASD, you will have some executive-function deficits. There are many executive functions, but to use the "working memory deficit" as an example, your NT wife may have blamed you for simply not caring about what she asks you to do, when in fact it’s difficult for you to remember some of these things.

We are NOT looking for excuses here, and we are NOT looking to get a "pass" for perceived callous behavior. We ARE looking to begin the process of developing some emotional literacy and social skills, such that you can connect with your spouse in a way that she will value and appreciate.

We will be meeting 1 hour a week for 6 weeks. We’re going to use Skype. The group will be approximately 90% educational and 10% Q and A. So, please have a notebook and pen handy (or a Word doc) during all 6 sessions. I will have plenty of handouts via downloadable/shareable Google Docs, and we will be video-recording the sessions. So, there will be plenty of opportunities to review the material discussed.

==> The next group starts in Nov. and will be meeting from: 11/3/25 to 12/8/25

==> We will meet on: Mondays at 3 PM [Eastern Daylight Time] for 1 hour.

If the time/date does not work for you, no worries. As I stated, I will be recording the sessions, therefore you can watch them at your convenience after our live meeting - and you will also have access to all the handouts.

If you have any questions, please email me: mbhutten@gmail.com

NOTE: I limit the number of members to 40, so register now before this group closes!

*** REGISTER NOW via PayPal ***

SOCIAL IQ – The social brain is responsible for the following:

evaluating human voices
assigning the emotional value of different stimuli (e.g., deciding when something is disgusting)
attaching an incoming signal with an emotional value
deciding whether a social signal really matters
deciphering prosody (i.e., the additional tones and ways that people add layers of meaning to their spoken words)
generating an initial emotional response to social stimuli (e.g., Should someone’s tone really impact me as much as it does? What does someone’s look really mean, and am I overreacting?)
generating reactions in response to different situations
helping control basic visual information
helping us notice where someone else is looking
selecting which of the myriad incoming social signals are the most important
allowing us to observe other human bodies
allowing us to know when incoming social signals are rewarding
helping us to not just listen to what people say, but HOW it is said
observing minute details of facial expression and body language
perceiving important social cues
regulating strong human emotions

EMOTIONAL IQ – The emotional brain is responsible for the following:

1. Emotional self-awareness: “When my body gives me physical signals that something is wrong, do I pay attention to it and sense what’s going on?”

2. Empathy: “Do I really listen to people when they talk about their issues, or do I just try to give them a solution? Do people tend to confide in me?”

3. Impulse control: “Do I respond to people before they finish telling me something?”

4. Interpersonal relationships: “Do I enjoy socializing with people, or does it feel like work?”

5. Self-actualization: “Am I doing the things in life that I really feel passionate about in MULTIPLE DOMAINS of life (i.e., spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, vocationally), rather than focusing on only one narrow range of interest?

The goal here is NOT to make you more "neurotypical." There's nothing wrong with you - and you don't need to be "fixed." But, you can learn several ways to adapt to the neurotypical world, with the larger goal of reducing your relationship stress.

Anxiety-reduction is the paramount objective in this workshop. Without a significant reduction in anxiety, social encounters that are loaded with social and emotional nuances will be nearly impossible to navigate.

Most couples in a neurodiverse marriage are chronically in a stage I call "Resistance and Power Struggles":

The ND spouses realize that they rarely live up to each other’s expectations.
They often disappoint and unintentionally hurt each other.
They now become intensely aware of their differences.
They use control strategies to bring back the desired balance.
Power struggles are common.
Blame, judgment, criticism and defensiveness are likely outcomes.
Fear and anxiety enter the relationship (e.g., “This relationship is not safe.”)
The couples’ thinking can narrow into either/or, right/wrong, good/bad polarities.

In order to turn this around, there will need to be a new-and-improved stage I call "Discovery, Reconciliation and Beginning Again":

Here, both parties will need to learn more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
They will need to learn to identify - and talk about - their fears instead of acting them out.
They will have to avoid judging or blaming each other.
They will have to translate their complaints into requests for change.
They will need to see each other in a new light (i.e., we are both gifted and flawed).
They will have to find a new balance of separateness and togetherness, independence and intimacy.

Are you ready to get busy? Then let's go!

Don't miss out!

Mark Hutten, M.A.

What this course builds:

Assertive communication (not passive or aggressive)
Emotional reciprocity via APV: Active listening → Paraphrase → Validate
Self-compassion to replace self-condemnation
Clear thinking by spotting and correcting cognitive distortions
Emotional intelligence (EQ): self-awareness, impulse control, and team mindset
Coping with the “new brain” (prefrontal cortex) instead of defending with the “old brain” (amygdala)
Proactive mood regulation using the Better-Feeling-Thought scale

Session-by-Session Summary

1) Assertiveness & APV

Mindset spectrum: Passive (shut down) ↔ Assertive (engage with boundaries) ↔ Aggressive (meltdown).
Sheepdog model: Be benevolent and boundaried—protect yourself/relationship.
Boundaries (scripts provided): interruptions, long talks, vagueness, upset timing, “feelings only” requests, past grievances, multi-topic “data-dumping.”
APV skill:
1. Active listen (Stop–Look–Nod)
2. Paraphrase before moving on
3. Validate her experience
4. (Optional) Offer your view without making her wrong.
Practice: Use assertiveness + APV; note what works/backfires.

2) Self-Compassion & Clear Thinking

Replace self-condemnation with self-kindness, common humanity, and balanced perspective.
13 cognitive distortions (e.g., all-or-nothing, catastrophizing, mind-reading, shoulds, fallacy of fairness/change).
Thought tools: Alternative explanations, goal-directed thinking, perspective shift, reality testing, 3 Cs
Capture → Challenge → Change.
Practice: Identify top 3 distortions, give real examples, create replacement thoughts; journal self-compassion plans.

3) Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

EQ attributes: Team spirit, self-awareness, impulse control.
Name your emotion by spotting the preceding thought (happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, anxiety, surprise, anger).
Understand her emotions by asking for her frame of reference (what she was thinking before the feeling). Use empathy scripts (“My intention wasn’t to hurt…” + “What can I do to help?”).
Practice: Team-player actions; replacement thoughts for anxiety/anger; 3 ways to slow down in the moment.

4) Old Brain vs. New Brain

Old brain (amygdala): fight/flight/freeze; threat-driven; cortisol loop; common “tells” (overthinking, people-pleasing, avoidance, racing mind, pessimism).
New brain (PFC): plan, reflect, integrate; curiosity, learning, balanced judgment.
Mindfulness + self-compassion break the threat loop and activate the soothing system.
Growth reframe: Story → Fear → Reframe → Lesson → Growth factor.
Practice: Log 3 old-brain moments and design 3 new-brain replacements; pick top “amygdala habits” and desired “PFC habits.”

5) Proactive Mood Regulation

Better-Feeling-Thought scale (Joy → … → Guilt/Shame). You move one or two steps up, not by leaping.
Rules: Notice where you are; think deliberately; step up gradually; repeat or you’ll slide down by default.
Pessimism elimination: Pair a “best-case” counter-thought with 3 believable (less negative) thoughts; rehearse daily.
Practice: Daily check-ins: (a) Where am I on the scale? (b) How might I slide down (avoid)? (c) What’s 1 step up?

6) Integration & Troubleshooting

Review what you tried, what didn’t, what you’re hesitant about, and what you need clarified across Sessions 1–5.
Bottom line mindset: You’re doing this for you, not for approval. Expectations for praise trigger old-brain reactions; offer a better you with no strings attached.

Core Tools (keep handy)

Boundary one-liners (from S1): schedule talks; time-outs; “one topic at a time”; “please be concrete—what would I say/do on video?”; “let’s wait until we’re calm”; “tell me what you need”; “I can’t fix the past; what helps now?”
APV (S1): Active listen → Paraphrase → Validate → (Invite your view).
3 Cs (S2): Capture the thought → Challenge the evidence → Change to balanced thought.
EQ check (S3): What thought preceded my feeling? What’s her frame of reference?
Brain check (S4): “Old brain or New brain right now?”
BFT step (S5): Identify your rung → choose one thought that moves you one step up.

Weekly Assignments (condensed)

S1: Practice assertiveness + APV; log outcomes.
S2: Journal self-compassion (tolerances, kindnesses, balancing skills) + Top-3 distortions with replacements.
S3: Team-player actions; anxiety/anger replacement thoughts; 3 impulse-slowers.
S4: 3 old-brain examples → 3 new-brain alternatives; list top amygdala vs. desired PFC habits.
S5: Daily BFT check-ins; build best-case + 3 believable counter-thoughts; rehearse.

Success Indicators

Shorter, clearer conversations; fewer shutdowns/meltdowns.
You set and explain boundaries; you stay engaged without over-explaining.
You paraphrase accurately before giving your view; validation comes before solutions.
You catch distortions faster; emotional “spikes” de-escalate sooner.
You notice “old brain” cues and can pivot to “new brain” responses.
Your mood climbs the scale by small, repeatable steps.

ASD Men's MasterClass